Tiny Minute Things
Living in the Moment
This October I will be 39! Yeah, A Well Deserved Birthday for me! While I introspect the last 39 Years, I spent close to 22 Years of the Initial Years celebrating the Moments of life; although I had loads of bad company to celebrate these days. These days were the best in terms of memories created. All Bad habits learnt, no limits, late nights, loads of girl friends, a play boy attitude, a rowdy, an undisciplined youth, most awkward moments, all the brawls, suicide attempts, most childish behaviours, the most non sense of the things done and dusted. Not a small notorious thing left undone and almost all the illegal things checked off as done by me. While I celebrated the glorious days of being the most notorious child and a youth, My parents cursed me for just being me trying to explore the unknown; little did they know that I would be as wise as I am today only because of all the attempts I made and explored.
My parents were very orthodox and yes a lot strict on all terms, a suicide attempt caught them off guard and they left me a bit loose some time in 2002. I had my days of associating with Political Parties in College Days, having a gala time bunking the classes while I excelled at studies from 2002 to 2005 even after not being in the classes. The Freedom what I got from 2002 shaped me up as I grew, The Unexplored world, the small attempts to impress that every other girl on the way, the little college brawls turned into big wars, the man handlings, the worse friends who don’t stand beside me now, those betrayals of small to big, those eve teasing days, those days of nurturing of self by self. That did make the trick. But Yes, I wasn’t into drugs nor into the sadistic attitudes, I enjoyed decent and a bit more then normal college days but yes those brawls against the college groups practicing drugs, the support from the professors on the righteousness in those brawls and the long list of enemies made HUH! I have had an awesome days in college. The Tiny Things matters a lot as it builds character.
There were days were someone else paid for my snacks as I couldn’t afford it, there were days when someone else filled the petrol as I couldn’t afford it, There were even days were I had to drop out of my graduation as I couldn’t afford it. There were painful days as small as being rejected by every other girl I proposed to being unable to afford my own education or smoking and eating habits. I only smoke tobacco, literally a big fan of it and have been unable to get rid off that habit even for today.
Those Days of Living in the Moments
All these days starting from the time I started exploring the self till 2006, I had been living and enjoying the moments with the childish fantasy of conquering the world one day with my abilities. I have had my bad days but not even one day spent questioning my own existence or the purpose which started sometime in 2009 where I betrayed my parents expectations by marrying a Catholic Girl, that’s a long story though and yes that mistake has turned out to be a gift! The Interim days from 2006 to 2009 shaped me as a Professional, Being too childish, not groomed or tamed stepping into the professional environment was one of the worse challenges I had to accept. It all started with a 2000 Rs Part Time Work in a Granite Store which introduced to a world of Call Centre Professionals speaking Jazzy English, Dressed in Hip Hops, Long Coloured Hair and the Fancy things they do. The Actual Story Started when the Request for Referral was Denied stating I am not eligible even before the HR Considered my profile. That hurt my ego, as my profile wasn’t even shared with relevant people.
From there on till now I have had many Professionals as my To Be State Fantasies till Date, For now I am Fancying Sanjeev Ranjan and Sameer Saxena at Jade (Not in terms of designation but as in what a person can do to his team as a Leader), Let me be frank this keeps changing as we evolve, grasp and understand better. It has changed from the time I know, The Funky Aditya, The Friendly Alwin, The Serious Satish, The Fascinating Rajneesh, The Leader Rahul, The Strategist Parvez, The Humble Surya and now Humane Sameer and Sanjeev!!! The List Grows as we explore and learn! The moment we achieve all that good qualities they have, we have something more visible to chase for. That’s all life is all about – Continual Improvement!!! We have examples of whom we shouldn’t be as well as that’s a long list though.
Have a long list of people from whom you can learn or unlearn just by observing them, Its much needed.
All said and done, I did start my call centre career, excelled at it, back slashed at many managers for their bad attitudes (I once resigned from a well known establishment without a resignation letter probably terminated as no show because the reporting manager made me remove my under pants to testify that I had bruises in my private parts, The talks with HR didn’t go as intended). I have had enough of sad stories but as I turn back, I stopped living in the moments and the transition was way too serious. By 2009 I was all up groomed by US Veterans, a Serious Life!!! Huh, Lost all the fun, I don’t even remember grooving for a song from 2009 till date, All though my son is trying to get me back these days.
The Serious Days
I have been chasing one or the other skill or an attitude to hone from 2009 both in personal and professional life as I remember. It has been a serious phase were I haven’t been living for the moment rather asking big questions on Life, Purpose, Goals, Existence and what not.
While it’s good to ask bigger questions, It also safe not to dwell into it too seriously. I actually had a breakdown at 2014 due to too many things happening and taking life way too seriously.
I started dwelling and questioning my entire existence, the purpose of life, the need to be alive, the meaning of everything and anything; all though I had my own stories plus hallucinations related to my own theories what I concur is – You never get an answer for a Big Question:
What’s life? – No one has an answer
Why Am I born? – No one has an answer, even if someone gives its not relevant or correct
What’s my purpose? – No one Knows
Is there a God? – No one Knows
Do I have something to accomplish? – No one Knows
These big questions doesn’t serve us, we aren’t gonna be saints nor do I expect an unexplained enlightenment in the current era nor do I expect God to Appear and give the unlimited unexplained knowledge even if I get that doesn’t help me explain the concepts to other individuals in the material world – Doesn’t solve my problems, would rather end up in creating a revenue driven new religion all together considering the wide spread greed!
The Key is to stop being to Serious and Ask Simple Questions for the Moment
Do my Parents want something from me? – You get the answer
Does the Wife needs something from me? – You get the answer
Does my Children need something from me? – You get the answer
Is there something I need to do to my Siblings? – You get the answer
Is there something I need to make myself comfortable? – You get the answer
Is there something expected from me at Work? – You get the answer
Is there something to plan for next 5/10 Years – Financial/Personal/Professional? – You get the answer
The Key Questions to ask is:
What’s the immediate need I need to address too?
What’s that I need to accomplish today?
What’s that my family needs from me?
Is there something I can learn today?
Is there something I can do to make another persons life easier for today?
Do I have Food on My Family’s Table?
Is there any need of the family that’s getting unnoticed?
What can I groove too today with my family? – Most Important
What can make me smile today? – Most Important
What is it that can make my son/daughter to smile today? – Most Important
Can I make my family happy today? – Most important
Live in the Moment, But Do Plan for a Decade!!! Take it Lite!
Some more questions: These are Basics – Helps you be stress free if answered as Yes!
Health Insurance of Entire Family?
Life Insurance of Self?
Nominations of all Accounts?
Book Shelf Filled?
Subscriptions of OTTs and Music Apps? 🙂
No Meals Skipped by Family?